September 6, 2017

It is not a woman’s job to get smaller and smaller…

Potent. I am the Mom who can’t let go. Don’t get me wrong. I see it. I know it. I am working on it. Because I know I need to be the cycle-breaker and my own damn super hero. And I need my girls and my son to know that they have permission to be their own. In fact, that’s where it needs to start. Self ownership. Life ownership. Decision making ownership. Self compassion. Self love. And then it reflects and radiates. I learned how to be a people-pleaser. I learned how to make myself feel small so others could feel big. I learned not to make waves. To keep the peace. To hide from confrontation – even at the expense of my own self worth. I learned to stuff my big feelings. To sweep them under the rug. To over function. Over help. Be everything to everyone (except myself). It is a huge generational pattern. And I am so grateful for the tools, guides, information, and advice that allows me to look at it, not with anger, but with compassion and love. And more love. And more love.
I believe so many people deal with similar dynamics knowingly or unknowingly. I just lived them for awhile until I almost broke. I scared myself. I woke up. And now I get to unpack all the STUFF. Show up, messy. Imperfectly. Authentically. Vulnerably. To see and be seen. ?
I share this because I hold the belief that many people live out these dynamics…. unknown… until they become known. Now that I see them, I can’t unsee them. I can live in love, truth, honesty, and integrity to myself. With the permission and understanding that I, too, have needs. And I am worthy of having those needs met. And I am worthy, in general. As a human being. For so many years I lived my life hustling for my worth. Trying to find it elsewhere. It never worked. Even when I was validated I always eventually needed to be reminded again. When that validation and permission and reminder comes from within …. no one can take it away from you. It’s yours. And you can spark that worth in others by shining your own light.
??? just my PSA for the day ???

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